Lunch

As quickly as they had appeared, the police offers crumbled to the ground in a heap, dead. We later found out that the life support on their space suits had died abruptly. Marvin had been talking to their ship after the escape. The enemy ship had committed suicide after listening to Marvin blabber incessantly at it for so long. The technological brilliance of the planet Magrathea was in chaos as we left the planet. By unanimous decision, our little group decided that we were all famished. The only place that it seemed fitting to go to was the Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

Escape

Just as these two talking mice are about to split my head open to get to my brain, all of these horns started going off. They sounded like something out of a movie like on a submarine to alert everyone of danger. I found Zaphod, Trillian, and Ford and we used the horns to get as far away from that planet as humanly possible. I was so happy to see them all again. These people that had saved my life from imminent death. But as I was starting to learn, things were never quite that easy in space. Just then, two galactic police agents stopped us to arrest Zaphod.

Two Blind Mice

Slartibartlast then told me that Frankie and Benjy, Trillian's pets, were in fact two of these hyoer intelligent engineers of  Deep Thought and of Earth. Benjy and Frankie were convinced that I knew the secrets to the universe deep in my brain because I am from Earth. Then the two mice tried to buy my brain from me. It was at this point that I truly started to question my sanity. how could any of this be true. I mean, I was in space, or I thought I was and mice can talk and men with strange names are telling me these mice built the planet that I loved so dearly. It was all very difficult to grasp, especially only having been off Earth of a few days. The confusing nature of these events snowballed each time a new one happened and I felt like my head would split open from it all. And just like that, things got even more confusing.

Taken

Upon arrival on the planet, the whole group got split up. Everyone was taken hostage and I was taken to the interior of the planet by Slartibartfast. Slartibartfast was a designer of worlds and landscapes who was from Magrathea. He designed the shoreline of all of Earth. He told me as we traveled through the planet that the Earth was actually a super computer. This was just another confusing fact to put in the library of confusing facts that I had learned that day. The Earth was created by super intelligent beings who also created another super computer called "Deep Thought." This computer was the first of the two and was designed to answer the meaning of life. After millions of years of contemplation, Deep Thought decided that the meaning to life, the universe, and everything was the number 42. Outraged and unsatisfied, these hyper intelligent beings built the Earth as a computer in an effort to give meaning to the answer 42. It was about then that I realized just how sarcastic everyone I had met was. Marvin and Ford were also making off-key jokes. Everything seemed like the joke was on me. 42?! This had to be the biggest joke of them all.

The Heart Of Gold

Zaphod was an.... interesting man. No one could accuse him of not having a purpose though. Zaphod and his crew were traveling the universe in search of the legendary planet, Magrathea. His crew consisted of Trillian and Marvin. Marvin was the most horribly depressed robot I had ever seen. Come to think of it, he was the only free thinking robot I had ever seen. Ford did not think they would ever find Magrathea, but in fact we did after a few more jumps through the infinite improbability drive. I loved Marvin at first sight. He was such a lovably depressing robot that i could not help but listen to for hours. Trillian was so beautiful despite her obvious attraction for Zaphod. Zaphod was energetic and smart but above all, resilient. Even if they had not saved my life, I really would have enjoyed all three of these crewman. The ship was clean and roomy but it had a certain homey feel to it that i could not sense. It must have been from the people that inhabited it that it felt like home almost immediately.

Probability

The Infinite Improbability Drive saved my life. The Heart of Gold is powered by one of these drives. This sort of engine is based on the principle of Quantum Theory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_field_theory) . Quantum Theory is the theory that a subatomic particle like an electron is very likely to be close to the atom is a part of such as the nucleus. However, there is a very small chance that the electron can be anywhere in the universe. When probability can be controlled space can be traveled faster then light in this way. The small problem with this drive is that there is no way to tell where one is going when it works. It is in this fashion that The Heart Of Gold, against all odds, entered our airspace at the precise moment we needed it to to save us. It also just so happened to be piloted by Zaphod Beeblebrox who just so happened to be President of the Galaxy who just so happened to also be Ford's cousin (kind of.) Quite a mouthful. I'm not quite sure how it happened but I'm sure glad it did or I would be a corpse floating around the galaxy right now.

The Guide

I was happy to be rid of those horrible slug creatures but being catapulted into space was not what I would have liked. What I would have liked was a fire and a good book back home after work. They are widely considered to be the most boring creatures in the galaxy the The Guide... I forgot to tell you about the guide!! The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy is like a DIY book for the universe. The book is extremely dry humored and it seemingly has an ego of its own. The reason Ford was even on Earth in the first place is because he was doing research for The Guide. He wrote a lovely piece on us after being on Earth for fifteen years but all the editors decided to publish was "Mostly Harmless" which is a little short winded if you ask me. This Guide is where all of our information comes from that Ford and I use to stay alive.
But I have gone horribly off track I'm afraid. After being tossed into space, against all odds, Ford and I were picked up by a little space ship called the Heart Of Gold.

Poetry in Motion

It was like in a movie when the lead character says, "things couldn't possibly get any worse" and then it starts raining. That is the perfect way to explain the next few events. Not only was my home PLANET a pile of ash, but I was still alive on the Vogon spacecraft that destroyed it. Just when i thought it  couldn't get any worse, we were found. The Vogons tortured us to seemingly no end. This poetry, however was not of the ordinary variety. No one broke our bones or pulled out our finger nails. They read us Vogon poetry, which just so happens to be the third worst poetry in the universe. They say it was the third worst but to me, it will always be the pits. After that nightmare I almost welcomed death. The Vogons saw no use for Ford and I so we were then catapulted into space. Just when all seemed lost, we were picked out of space by a friendly ship.

Life Changing

The day continued to get even more bizarre. As I was laying in front of that blasted bulldozer, my good friend, Ford Prefect, arrived seemingly out of thin air. Ford was a very close friend of mine. He had a very black sense of humor and always seemed to have such a huge imagination. To my shock, he was not at all surprised to find me laying in front of a bulldozer in my pajamas. Further adding to my shock (quite the understatement,) Ford went on to explain to me that the Earth was about to be destroyed. This This was news to me as I had not heard any stories of nuclear holocaust or horrific natural disasters on the news in the last few nights. Ford went on to explain to me that the Earth would die because of aliens. ALIENS?! Surely Ford had gone out of his mind. Only when he continued in his explanation did I become SURE he had gone over the deep end. He told me the Earth was in the way of an intergalactic bypass and that an alien race called the Vogons was intending to build. Considering I was going through the very same situation with my own house, I felt for my fellow humans in the grief they would soon feel. And soon it would be that they found out of the imminent attack of the planet Earth. In fact, just as I thought I would be killed with the rest of the Earth, Ford pulled out a small device and the next thing I knew I was not on Earth anymore. I had a strange feeling we were not in Kansas anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z0GFRcFm-aY

.... Interesting Day

Hello readers, My name is Arthur Dent. Lately, very strange things have been happening to me and I just have to get it off my chest. I heard about this blogging thing that's all the rage so i thought I'd give it a try.
I awoke one morning to a bulldozer waiting on my front lawn and a contractor asking me to vacate the premises. The government decided that it was time to build a bypass for cars to get from point A to point B faster. I had no idea they were allowed to do this, having never been in  a similar situation. Panic was my first reaction. As a result, I jumped off my front porch in my bathrobe and laid down in front of the bulldozer. I had never done anything like this before in my life but this was my home. I couldn't just let it get demolished in front of my very eyes. Unfortunately this was not nearly the strangest thing that would happen to me today.